textbooks were the vext books because I saw through them but I never saw myself in them

I am in my late 50’sI grew the food/Spirituality and some of the names of my African Ancestors.
That was since being born.
Once I went to school on the mainland and saw African Americans…I was told I was ‘marginal’
Since about 1973 I started learning as part of the school curriculum and on my one.
The worst thing they could have done was to teach the language and how to read.
The textbooks were the vext books because I saw through them but I never saw myself in them.
Maybe this new generation is ignorant but I knew and my children along with my preteen grandchild are aware of our blood.
When an African American comes at me with ‘you are Black’
I say I see you are not blind but I also see you have not finished your fight on the mainland and want to tell me about my island’s colonial ills?
Clean up starts with seeing the need to physically do some work but insight is heavier work for some.
The heavy lifting and getting one’s hand dirty physically was transferred through the Foramen Magnum but within the brain is the storm that clouds the thoughts as they trip over the detritus that wasn’t swept in the subconscious.

Afro-Latinx

Afro-Latinx

 

I am a Solvent that will not give Absolution

I was considered ‘problematic’ because at the age of 8 I was told that was in the margins.
So from the margins, I justified with words the intent of my innate intelligence.
I use the language and words of those that wanted me to be ‘1 of many’
I may be a ‘problematic’ to those who feel they are the solution.
I am a Solvent that will not give Absolution.
I am a Solvent that will not give Absolution

I am a Solvent that will not give Absolution.

because I dressed him and he wanted to be like Dad

He was sportin’ Timberlands back then.
Only because I dressed him and he wanted to be like Dad.
So many things he does not know about me but he will come to his own.
One day passed the panes that give a glimpse of what his world is he will know that I was the best that I could be as I weathered my own storms I sheltered him.
The shards of the past will only last until you surpass the pain that the refrains could not retain within.

Jacob ripped jeans

Jacob ripped jeans

 

Back when my Locs were shorter and less gray

Back when my Locs were shorter and less gray.
I was stopped so many times with my son.
They would go down to his eye level and ask him if I was his Father.
That’s his natural hair at that age.
Yes, people thought I dyed his hair.
If I were to have married a Black/African Amercian/Afro-Latinx things would have been different.

Jacob toddler Antonio

Jacob toddler Antonio

Sometimes we need to slow our flow

Sometimes we need to slow our flow.
A we go throughoughtthe we need to measure ourselves.

We may have to slow down our speech or actions in order to take in something else.