RastaRicanStudio|Ellenville|New York » Rambling

Dreams Turned To Taciturn Reflections

RastaRicanStudio — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 12:24:43 +0000

An associate wrote this to me
“you need a muse and inspiration will follow and bloom”

I thought I had one but she became camera shy.
The creative part cries out in silence but yet some can hear it.
Frustrating as I want to feed it and therefore not let it die within.
I do not want yet another corpse held down by remorse within me.
I feed it what I can and promise that every day I awake I will bring it something even if just a taste.
I feel I cannot even give away my images for those that do not want me to even have their number/email.
How can I give away a part of me to someone that does not even trust me?
My art is a child of my soul!
How can I cast them/it into hand too cold to hold another person’s art with any value but free?
Thank you for all the kind words, Kim.
I can be intense or so it seems but when I am quiet ‘they’ ask why but when I speak they do not listen.
So that is why I cry in silence and my dreams turn to taciturn reflections off a broken mirror.
RastaRican

When my Soul was wandering in an endless catacomb

RastaRicanStudio — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 11:43:40 +0000

I take comfort in your words and also look forward to being next to you.
When my Soul was wandering in an endless catacomb under timber still smoldering from the wreckage of a place I once called home.
You reached in and offered me hand without a glance of the broken man.
You saw my spirit without seeing my face.
Rough hewn timbers laden with lies and yet you reach in and removed them with Love and understanding.
Sometimes I kept my head bowed in prayer and others in despair as tears jumped off my face as I felt less than waste.
Slowly I turned to the voice and craned my head to the Light in your eyes and the blue sky above my storm.
Yet having nothing than words and a deep spirit you guided me on a sea of Hope to Island that is our own.
Holding you close in my arms with your head canted that lower lip in my mouth as I gently pull on it.
I see the pulsing blood/Love that sustains our bodies and Spirits with every heartbeat.

I watch the minutes fall off the clock like drops of rain into the ocean.

RastaRicanStudio — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:42:40 +0000

I watch the minutes fall off the clock like drops of rain into the ocean. I know where each falls but cannot see where it went.
When I was with you my despair you would wrest from my soul.
When we took strolls I had no idea our time together had been foretold.
I was your dry dock and you were my vessel.
What I would give to hold her but her prescient thoughts brought the end.
Another miraculous sunset except I stand on this rock alone watching someone else go home.

RastaRican

Your words do not fall on deaf ears nor on blind eyes

RastaRicanStudio — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:50:25 +0000

Your words do not fall on deaf ears nor on blind eyes but help steer a soul from a cloudy day to a clear tomorrow.

The eyes see all but the mind brushes over that vision a brush tainted with emotions.

If I cry out to you do not use my words after you balled them in hurt and hurl them at me.
I cried out because I Love You and when I turned and you were gone I felt an emptiness within.
Remember when I wrote this

In the darkness I read my life as if it was in Braille but my feelings foretell every detail.

If I cry out to you with tears that quenched a volcano but reach out to you to like gentle waves lapping at the shore.
Please do not turn your back for I want to reflect your beauty as I cover you with all that I am and caress your earthly form.

RastaRican

I have nothing of value but words recycled by the juxtaposition of letters and they are my only currency.

RastaRicanStudio — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:15:33 +0000

I have nothing of value but words recycled by the juxtaposition of letters and they are my only currency.

Raising my son

RastaRicanStudio — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:21:47 +0000

I might not agree with all that he said and how he handles some parts BUT I have a 19 year old in an ivy league college you is a cross country runner.
I had a hard life and that has made part of me a hard a$$ BUT I do not want to bust his a$$ nor for him to rest on his toned a$$.
The only way to know your strengths is to meet your weaknesses.
Muscle only work against gravity and the mind needs to be stimulated or it too will atrophy.
Yes, in your eyes (Jacob) Mom/Dad were the “primordial sin” but it was (never ending being a parent) our duty/job is/was to raise you in a way that reflected our lives/values/beliefs.
When you are fully out of the house and not coming for winter/spring breaks and such you do whatever you want BUT we laid a good foundation and you can build upon that or take it apart, your call/life.
Like I told my step-son “before you rule you must learn the rules or will not know how to rule” or you will “You will rue the day.”

“My dear,

Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

Your anger will give your speech zeal and passion. But it’s not worth it. For once you look back upon your speech, you will no doubt regret it. I promise you that. The number of lives you’ll damage with your speech is immeasurable.

Falsely yours,
Dr. Laurence J. Peter”

Keeping thoughts flowing and knowledge growing

RastaRicanStudio — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:39:27 +0000

Laying low but not on the down low.
Keeping thoughts flowing and knowledge growing.
Having a time trying to fellowship with ‘trifling’ people.
So spending time alone and yet keeping His light to right though even though no one is left.
Taking this ship on lifetime cruise and I cannot afford to lose my way.
Though the grave seems like as a good a place to rest but I have work to do.
For a long as there is life there is decay.
Lets lower our heads and pray for the morals that have fallen on a bed of disrespect.
A moment of silence for the expectations that lay on the floor.
I am asked often why I am not in church.
Because my soul does not rest and my nerves vibrate.
The only time they speak to me is to judge about one Sunday but not to say how are you today.
I smile and deflect for the darkest of all space is behind this face.
My words fermenting in the corners of my mind waiting for one more insipid pious word from them and I’ll wipe that look of your face so fast you will need intercessory prayers just to stand up.
They bring ‘others’ to speak and spew and expect me to sit there like a fool.
I wait but the weight is too much and like a leaf in Autumn I fall by the wayside.
Sometimes on stony ground until the winds of change move me or just the stain of who I was remains on the concrete.

Knowledge is like the air that we breathe

RastaRicanStudio — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:07:30 +0000

Knowledge is like the air that we breathe but for our brains.
I prefer wide open spaces and various scents in the air.

Some subscribe to the “Western Classics” and other to “eastern Knowledge” base.

I take in knowledge like the air that breathe and the basis to my words.

Before I speak I take a breathe of air and form the words to convey my thoughts that were shaped by the knowledge that my eyes, ears and Soul have retained.

Break Up

RastaRicanStudio — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:40:07 +0000

I did not know about the break up, sorry.
I know that the ratio of Love to heartache is true.
I remember getting ready to break up because I felt we were no longer on the same page.
We were suppose to write our own story but somehow grew apart.
I held that book close to my heart and it would echo my heartbeat but in reality it was OUR heartbeats.
When I could only hear my own heartbeat I wanted to put the book on the shelf.
Through it all I told her that I Loved her and would forever and a day or maybe just one more day.
But I didn’t say that I liked her or I felt I was treated.
I stayed away from the dreaded “YOU”
You know the ‘you make me feel this way when YOU and YOU always say this to and YOU do that You are a _____
You makes the person defensive and Why can create anxiety.
I feel this way when this happens or if something is done or not done.
The you can be there BUT the ‘I’ means this is about YOU and your feeling/needs are not being met…remember that when a BUT is thrown in there the opposite of was to left is to the right.
Cry and hold yourself tight and whisper softly.
Do not point a finger at anyone for there are three pointing back and one thumb.
A season, a reason but not a lifetime.
It happened for a reason and lasted more than a season.
You now know what you are capable of and what you will not tolerate.
Have you ever read Reading Without Reflecting is like Eating Without Digesting?
Well lets throw in the Living Without Introspection. Now child you have to look within, not always pretty. Look at what you attracted and or deflected. Complimenting is better than complicating.
We sometime attract people who complement our strengths and others that shore our weaknesses.
The resurrection of taught or fraught.
Remember what you taught by this person, let the lesson not be lost.
If not your next relationship will be fraught with similar issues.
Taught also means tight and you most remain loose.
The strongest steel is a cable(d) that gives way without breaking.
Allow yourself to be held by friends/family and her your own words out load BUT stand proud.
Yesterday is downstream and tomorrow is just a vision BUT you are here today.
You survived and will continue because you Loved and are capable of loving…Child that is a beautiful thing.

Sipping On Spit

RastaRican — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 11:16:58 +0000

Sipping on Spit and Chewing on cables life turned to strife not close to a Fairy Tale or a Fable.
My Hopes falling through the cracks on the floor that mirror my heart.
I await death but it teases me, you see.
It comes and holds me in it’s cold embrace and then walks away laughing at my disgrace.
But held I was awaiting the disentanglement as my body sputters and my Spirit seeks to be rid of the carnal clutter.
Sitting in the glow of an 11-year-old computer screen swallowing coffee hard to wash down the screams that are the echos to the tears that stream…and caress an old man’s face. Hoping the coffee will speed up my heart so that I know that it is there and not subjugated like a silent tectonic plate with despair.
I have kissed many a tear from a woman’s cheeks but nary a one is here near my seat.
My whole being falling into a hole being that it has collapse and my life is a seen as a retrospective time lapse video.
Holding your face in my arms with you head canted looking radiant and enchanted.
Lips slightly parted as my hands caress your face and I bring my lips to your blossom of a mouth and kiss you gently.
Lightly biting that lower lip and pulling it forward until I hear an inspiration.
Then we begin the dance of silent lengua franca.