RastaRicanStudio|Ellenville, New York » rambling

God’s Light

Manati — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:16:13 +0000

Between two trees God’s Light shown from the clouds.
He said go through the valley and when you come to the foot of the mountain do not worry about it’s height.
Be thankful for your health and ascend it’s slope.
When you come to the summit do not celebrate in triumph over the mountain but extend your arm to those that are still climbing.

My Father

Manati — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 08:28:21 +0000

I miss my father or that bond I should have had with my father?
I met him once on the mid-seventies, twice if you seeing out in LI, NY.
He died broken and depleted never getting what he needed.
Alcohol coursing through his veins and morphing his disdain.
Before every action there is a thought.Be it walking to the liquor store or getting “relaxed” after work. You are looking to draw a heavy curtain on the thoughts. Thing with alcohol is that it’s readily available and has been with for eons. Actions are slave to thoughts and if you are a slave to alcohol you have a tertiary master. Soon the thoughts that let to the actions are numb but new ones to are there for you to succumb to, just alcohol induced.
I drink because ________ Everyone has a reason as to why they do.
Some have a reason as to why they do not stop.
Some forgot the road back other remember and never want to go back.
My father died broke/broken of Oral Cancer and for decades we had not spoken.

I want to meet you halfway

Manati — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 14:28:58 +0000

I want to meet you halfway.
But after that I want to go all way if you allow me stay.
I won’ do any harm you are my calm in this storm.
We will look into the future and it will be our past, we made it they said it could not last.
I want to hold on but I have to let go.
You are my earthly light and I just can’t hold on.
You have brighten my day and illuminated my night.
Gave euthanasia to my nightmares and enhance my daydreams.
I remember gasping for air and once I touched your lips despair was sent to foul lair.
I asked my lord for hope and felt he had not answered.
I sojourned through the valley and upon coming to the crest and feeling drawn and tired there you were my sunrise.
You blossomed into a new day.
And in my heart you stay with each rhythmic beat washing away all my past defeats.

I feel God is testing me.

Manati — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 15:29:27 +0000

I keep meeting people that do not like cameras anywhere near them.
I feel like chef and everyone is on a diet.
A painter without a canvas…the person that I paint with the available light and enhance to round out my vision.
It’s ok.
Hope is not something I see as an exit sign but something that carries me through the fire unscathed.
No pressure on you bebe, just sharing my thoughts.
I guess I should use my blog for that, ciao
Oh wait! I just did.
From my backyard.

How to view a Histogram from Rasta Rican on Vimeo.

Heavy Thunderous Beats/Beast In A Vacuos Heat.

Manati — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 17:23:36 +0000

I live alone and words are my friends and they are my currency the only things I have of value, to some.
This from am email this morn, related to blog design of all things.
A photographer without a muse is like a mirror without a reflection. With light as a medium they see and complete each other.
A teacher without a student is akin to fountain without water…The beauty of the fountain is brought forth by the dispersion of the water/knowledge.
I am nursing a broken heart so words are my Art Therapy along with my Lil Rebel XT.
Heavy thunderous heartbeats…sans echos in a vacuous heat…my earthen locks keeping time with every beat…brought to my Lord feat…like Mary and Martha that is where I belong…and where I will stay…the mountains and valleys that are created with each melancholic beat…remind that I need to breath…love to me is the air that we breath…necessary for our very survival but not in the sense that others have inhale what we have just taken and let in slow tempo or a fractious staccato…but since I have fallen and I know that I have move and am going somewhere…if even though crestfallen…I am my first true love and the cornerstone to my life as my God is the cornerstone to my faith…that whispered goodbye to arrogance as she picked me up and embraced me even though I shunned her…she carried me and no can one put us asunder.

What is it with…?

Manati — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:29:20 +0000

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?”

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE……
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

Raices/Races

Manati — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:43:29 +0000

I guess I would be called Puerto Rican because of where I was born and American again because I ws born on American soil. I look to most all like a Rastafarian but am not. People see the dreads and my skin color and make their assumptions. My daughter is a brown skinned princess (24) my granddaughter is very fair skinned and most people ask is she mixed? As if it matters. Yes, she has a bloodline that transverses the atlantic at different times. My ex looked like Pocahontas but is Puerto Rican like myself. My son looks like the new face of American slightly rounded tip of nose and a healthy tan. He has issues with race. He tells his friends he is Hawaiian. His mother is of Scandinavian descent. He is making his choices at 13. I taught him about his lineage and that is part of his background does not define him as a person. I told him if you add 1 ounce of chocolate to 15 ounces milk you have chocolate milk and if you add 15 ounces of milk to 1 ounces of chocolate you have chocolate milk. My culture by definition is mixed African, indigenous Indian/Native American and Spanish….I am reminded in the town I live in about my color…my fiance (in my flickr pix) is very fair skinned and 5′ 4" I am 6’1" we were pulled over in my pick up truck for no other reason than my color and hair. The officer stared at her hard..may be thinking what is a nice white girl like doing with him..we are both PR I am 46 and she 41…we have known each other for 27 years, (long story) He "let me off" with a warning. I was pissed and she wanted to take a shower…One mile from my house in the mountains of NY Race to me equals the Spanish word Raices which means roots…where we are born but not who we are….my ex-girl came up from Florida to stay with and we went to Rockefeller plaza to see the tree…coming back on the train a white officer comes into the train and looks hard at her son…he is young 19. 6′ 3″and had a starter shirt on….the officer put his hand on his gun and Maria ran to the boy and shielded his body with hers willing to take a bullet for her son. I had my camera and a London fog trench coat he looked at me and I at him. I didn’t move because I did not want to be in the morning paper as another dead black/Puerto Rican man..I was prepared to yell I am on the job to stop the officer if he drew the gun and than explain, this a good kid tall but a kid from Florida…we walked away from that one…reminded why I don’t like the city and only guns for hunting deer. sorry for ranting

It May Not Be A Family Portrait But A Self Portrait Into My Family

Manati — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 15:55:57 +0000

As my daughter would say “we but the fun in dysFUNctional”
How many actually “play pretend”

Life gets in the way of living and that won’t last.

Manati — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 15:28:35 +0000

Sometimes falling is good. It means you are going somewhere.
When the “whole” has fallen apart and you start to descend down that hole by the field and just can’t stop….you are going to land on your feet or in defeat but you will land.
When the intricacies of your psyche have left not being the person you might me.
Find the ear in your armor and mend, do not let the world see within you.
A tear is a hydrophilic version of a physiological tear. Don’t despair the pain will only last as long as you feed it. Grow strong and let go of what was already long gone. It lived within eating away at your bliss. Like that spiders kiss. Nothing just an exogenous visage of what has died within. Resurrect it and perfect for you have to love yourself and love show a difference to someone’s suffering, why not stop yours? If you know how to love yourself you loves other without waiting for them to love you first or back.
Who first told you they love you?
Who first told you were beautiful?
Who first said there is nothing holding you back?
That same person had the power to make you or break you.
Self-esteem comes from within but is usually learned from family and friends.
Being that they are human they sometimes fail us,
We wander looking for that which will satisfy our thirst.
First look within yourself find what it is your are “lacking, pour yourself a glass or take a piece.
Introspection hurts, sometimes we have to look in the mirror and say to that person you F’D! UP.
But I am giving us another chance because we are one till there is no more but the bones that hold up this body.
Do you remember when we left Eden?
The serpent kissed the apple hissed our farewell into this world.
Let us live in peace within.
When words are thrown at us like fish hooks tearing into our skin and trying to remove our soul as we walk away. A fire needs fuel and air to “live” do not be either to the person that is spewing “their” venom.
We give power away or exchange it for words/shelter for our bodies or our hearts.
The first person that broke our heart was the same person we wanted to make it whole by being there with us.

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No, I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend
To not love me at all

Sometimes men just do not know when to take their hands out of the cookie jar/fire.

Manati — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 15:34:23 +0000